I was watching an old Jeff Foxworthy stand up comedy show and he does a great bit about the reasons “you might be a redneck”. A few examples:

If you think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk, you might be a redneck.

 

If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.

 

If you own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren’t, you might be a redneck.

I thought it might be funny to swap out “redneck” and replace it with “digital marketer”. So, here’s my list of the 18 reasons you might be a digital marketer:

1. If you’re a guy and you wear jeans and a blazer every day, you might be a digital marketer.

2. If you look down upon anyone not using a MacBook, you might be a digital marketer.

3. If you attend no fewer than 50 conferences a year, you might be a digital marketer.

4. If you spend more time at work on social media than you do actually working, you might be a digital markter.

5. If you actually know what a “Klout score” is, you might be a digital marketer.

6. If you Google yourself on a weekly basis (at a minimum), you might be a digital marketer.

7. If you know that you definitely don’t get enough credit for the results you’re generating for your company, you might be a digital marketer.

8. If you laugh at people who think getting retargeted is just a strange coincidence, you might be a digital marketer.

9. If you’re determined to be the tweeting champion at any digital conference you attend, you might be a digital marketer.

10. If you idolize Gary Vayerchuk, you might be a digital marketer.

11. If you get annoyed when friends tell you that they saw one of your ads and clicked on it, you might be a digital marketer.

12. If your lifelong dream is to be trending on Twitter, you might be a digital marketer.

13. If you think last click attribution is so “late 1990s”, you might be a digital marketer.

14. If you refuse to do business with a company that doesn’t have a responsive website, you might be a digital marketer.

15. If you think the joke – “Where is the best place to hide a dead body? Page 2 of Google” is hilarious, you might be a digital marketer.

16. If you feel a strange affection for the incognito browser, you might be a digital marketer.

17. If you think the term “organic” has nothing to do with Whole Foods and everything to do with Google, you might be a digital marketer.

18. If you can speak in complete sentences using only acronyms, you might be a digital marketer.

So that’s my list. I’m sure I missed a bunch of good ones. Feel free to add your own “you might be a digital marketer” jokes in the comments below.